Lord Undo Me by Blake Williams

I read this prayer this week on FB and the words just spoke to me.  They say so much.  You decide....

“Lord Undo Me”

“I don’t really worship these day
I don’t really stand up to praise you with songs
Or prayers or actions or with anything

I am full of all the right moves
I am full of all the right words
I am full of all the right religion

But it is all just illusion

I am really
Lonely
Lost
Calloused
Jaded
Cynical
Too religious
Too realistic
and well really just to lazy
to worship you anymore

I have lost my first love
I have lost the joy of your presence
But most of all I have lost the fear of your glory

Father I need to see you again
Like Isaiah I want to stand in awe of your glory
To fall down at your feet
To come face to face with your
Perfection,
Radiance,
Goodness,
Holiness,
Awesomeness

I want to stand before you and see you for who you are
and me for who I am
I want to be undone

I want to know me for who I really am
I want to see the depths of my heart
And know that you are the only way

You are the only truth
You are the only life
I want to see me and understand
What it really must have taken for you to

Love me
Care for me
See me
Speak to me
Want me
Communicate with me
Die for me
Die for me
Die for me

Lord, I want to stand in that place where all I can see is your glory
And my sin
Because in that place I can’t help but worship you.

 Lord let me come undone
Undo my heart
Lord, undo my heart
break down these walls that I love so much
No, wait don’t,
I’m scared I don’t know if I can handle this
don’t
But I can’t live this way anymore
I can’t stand here in this half-life
this going through the motions life
this not really alive life
Father, I need you so come in and do what you must

Cut out the tumor on my heart
Break down the walls that I love
Lord let me come undone
Undo my heart
let me worship you again."

 ~Blake Williams

             We all have those moments, those times we get set in the motions, do what we are supposed to do, we raise our hands and lift our voices but our hearts are not in it. We do it because that’s what we have learned, or because we have allowed ourselves to forget the true reason of why we worship, the reasons why we lift our hands in praise, why we take the time to listen. We make excuses for ourselves, put up walls creating reasons why we are simply going through the motions.

           My first thought after hearing it was, "Wow!  Someone else feels the way that I feel."  Some of you may find yourself in that prayer as I did.  No, some of it may not apply but some of it does.  Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our daily routine, our life here on this earth that we often tend to place God on the backburner.  We become so separated from Him that we find it hard to get back to where we once may have been with Him.  Sometimes we feel so hallow inside that we wonder if God even cares anymore but don't lose hope...God is right where you left Him!  I pray for God to undo me, to break down my walls, take away the lost and lonely feelings that the devil has filled me with to keep me from pursuing my God! It gets hard, no one ever said it was going to be easy; the only thing we can be sure of is that no matter how many times we fall down, God will be there to pick us up; He will be there with open arms accepting us back into His love and embrace. God will never turn His back on us, even when we turn our backs on Him, He will always be there waiting. 

 We, so many times, make the wrong decisions and find ourselves out of His Will and struggle to get back to Him.  We start out with one wrong decision that leads to another then another until we have made a web of sin and deceit that we don't know which way to turn to make things right again.  Despite knowing all the right ways, we only keep making all the wrong ones.  We struggle within ourselves, wanting to feel His Presence again but there's nothing there but emptiness and misery.  We try to pray but prayers don't seem to go much further than our lips.  We try to read the Bible but its only black words on white paper.  We try to sing but that Sweet Spirit just isn't there anymore.  We try to undo ourselves but nothing seems to help.  It's at that point that we need to remember what King David wrote in Psalms 51:10-12, "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.  Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit." 

Keep pursuing God and one day He will look down and see us...see us for the sinful people that we are and remember that He created us and that He loves us and that He wants to be reconciled to us.  God will start to undo that web that you spun and you will feel His Spirit again...and as you seek Him more and more, the stronger you will become in Him. 

                He knows the very intent of our hearts and will mold us to meet His Will.  Jeremiah 17:10 says, "I the Lord search the heart; I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings."  There's nothing that you go through that God doesn't see.  There's nothing that you go through that He can't bring you out of.  Sometimes it may not be in our timing but know that He has a plan and He comes right on time! 

                 I'm so thankful that God looked down and saw me...a broken shell of a person, ashamed of the sins that I had committed...and had compassion on me and gave me the forgiveness and the strength that I needed to move forward.  He saw the struggle I have in finding my place with Him and His desire for me and He responded by telling me to seek Him early and He will show me the way.  I'm putting my faith and trust in Him to guide me to be who He wants me to be.  He is undoing me to get me out of the way so that His Will can be done...even if it is one block at a time!